Green Devils, and Other Such Nastiness.

Apology incoming.

I say the same thing every time; I promise that I'm going to keep things over here a bit more up to date, that I'm going to give this dark corner of mine some much overdue love and attention. It doesn't usually work out.

Moving forward, it might have to. The landscape is changing.

Social media is currently slowly dissolving into a swill of nastiness. Twitter (or X, or whatever the fuck you want to call it) went that way some time ago, Zuckerberg seems determined to drag all of his Meta platforms in the same spiteful direction, with the result that many people, myself included, are looking for viable alternatives. Look, if I wanted to be bombarded with mouth-frothing right wing rhetoric, pornographic spam, and which-harmless-minority-group-shall-we-demonise-today sentiment (disclaimer: I don't) then I'd look for it myself, right? I get it, the world is a bad place, filled with bad people. I know they exist, that doesn't mean I want to engage with them or give them airspace.

So I'll admit it, Facebook is something that I'm stuck with. I've used it for a long time (okay, I'm old, get over it) as a means of keeping in touch mainly with distant friends with whom I'd otherwise struggle to maintain contact. Threads and Instagram? Fuck them sideways. As for that other prick, you know, that psychopathic narcissist who got rich of the back of his daddy's diamond mine and the ability to take advantage of other peoples' innovations? Yeah, I put his shit behind me a while ago and I haven't looked back since.

Long story short: I don't want to whine on about it for too long, but yeah, I'm bailing on the bad stuff, just like many of you are. I'm on track, I don't want to be dragged back from it by investing my time into toxicity. I'll try to keep this little place of mine a bit healthier, a bit more frequent. Cleaner though?

Hell, I think the dust and cobwebs suit it. The darkness hides most of them anyway.

In the meantime, I'm busy right now, working on the first draft of what will end up being my fifth novel. But I want to keep things ticking over here too if possible. So for the time being, I'd like to share something from a while back, a repost of something from one of my old blogs. It's a true story, I promise...

And now I think it’s about time I shared a true story with you, just to break the ice between us a little bit, as it were.

It’s strange how some things stay with you throughout your childhood and into your adult years, residing somewhere in the darkest corners of your memory, only to resurface when you least expect.  Like the time I walked back home from play with a rusted nail protruding from my kneecap, proclaiming to my shocked parents that I was all grown up ’cause I didn’t even cry. Or further back still, lying in my cot in my parents’ bedroom, afraid of the distorted, elongated shadows cast on the wall by the orange streetlight outside the window.

One such memory is of the time I played Green Devils. Maybe you’ve done something similar, I don’t know. If you bear with me a little longer, I’ll elaborate…

It was the simplest of childhood games.

“C’mon, don’t be soft! It’s just a game, but I bet you’re too chicken to play!”

His name was David and at about nine years we were both at that age where a boy’s worst fear is to look frightened in front of his peers. One of his worst fears, anyway.

I accepted the challenge, albeit nervously. Green Devils. The name alone made it sound like something not quite right. Like something I was more than likely to regret.

David cupped his hands at either side of my face, placing his face tight at the other end to make a sort of closed tunnel. His eyes looked straight into mine. Ginger-haired and freckled, as well as being a year younger than me, he didn’t usually come across as the creepy type.

“Close your eyes,” he said. Curious, but still more than a little apprehensive, I did as he said. He began rubbing my temples with his thumbs in a circular motion and began to chant in a soft, droning voice:

“Think of green devils… green devils… green devils…”

Then:

“Your family were in a car crash…car crash…“

“Woah!” I snapped my head back. I hadn’t expected that!

“Close your eyes and listen, or you’ll spoil it, you big sissy!” David exclaimed. Reluctantly, I did as he said. Once ready, he started again.

“Your family were in a car crash…car crash…there were no survivors…no survivors…think of green devils…green devils…”

I could feel myself starting to be lulled by the repetitive sound of his voice. Colours swam behind my eyes in a kaleidoscope, each vying for my attention.

“You saw it all happen…all happen…think of green devils…green devils…”

Then soft, almost whispering: “Now, open your eyes.”

“Aahhh!” I jumped back almost immediately. In the split second before I did so, what I saw – what I think I saw – was this:

David’s face was gone. It had been replaced by some sort of grinning, demonic mask. Pallid green skin, arched eyebrows spanning glaring, malevolent eyes, lips pulled back from teeth in a wicked grin. The effect lasted less than a second, but seemed to go on for an eternity before being broken by my shriek, followed by David’s howling laughter. Gone from view, but there forever in my memories. The embarrassment I felt has long since departed, but the sense of fear has never, ever been forgotten.

The logical part of my mind puts it down to hypnagogia. If you don't know what that is, look it up. Basically, it's a form of simple induced trance in which a recipient can be lulled into seeing something that isn’t really there. Remind yourself of that, the next time you chant Bloody Mary in your bathroom mirror.

That’s what the logical part of my mind chooses to believe, anyway.

After all, there couldn’t be any other possible explanation, could there…?

On that note, laters

Love and gratitude as always,

- L